Loneliness or Solitude?
"Loneliness is the hunger of the ego, and solitude is the nourishment of the soul."*
The distinction between loneliness and solitude revealed itself to me quite unexpectedly after a profound shift in consciousness in the spring of 2018.
On the morning of April 6, while eating breakfast in my tiny laneway house, I suddenly realized something remarkable. I wasn't lonely anymore. For the first time in my life, I felt entirely comfortable in my own skin. I no longer needed anything outside of myself to feel whole or at peace.
How wonderfully ironic.
After years of profound loneliness - even while surrounded by family, co-workers, teammates, and friends - I had somehow discovered joy in solitude.
Why am I writing about this now?
If you've been following my journey, you may have noticed I've had very little online presence over the past several months. The reason is simple: life changed. I moved away from the quiet sanctuary of my tiny house and back into the daily rhythm of the family home on King Edward Avenue.
Who I am has not changed since that morning in April 2018. Inner peace remains my anchor, regardless of how busy life becomes. What I did notice, however, was that I felt less connected to a sense of Self and oneness. Family life is rich, joyful, and deeply meaningful (especially since becoming a grandmother ☺️🩵), but it also demands attention. As my focus shifted outward toward everyday responsibilities, I found myself spending less time nurturing the connection with my soul and what I believe is my deeper purpose: sharing my story of awakening in the hope that it might help someone else.
This realization led me to an interesting question:
Could I have experienced such a profound shift while living an active family life?
My honest answer is...
I don't think so.
My experience taught me that changing the way I understood myself - and ultimately changing my understanding of life itself - required long periods of honest introspection.
That kind of work isn't easy. Recognizing how often I viewed life through the lenses of judgment, victimhood, and blame took months of quiet reflection. Examining my relationships, behavioural patterns, and instinctive reactions whenever I experienced loss, hurt or betrayal, required a level of attention that simply wasn't possible while making grocery lists, paying bills, and rushing between meetings at work.
While writing Lightworker, one message echoed through every chapter:
If I could find inner peace, anyone can.
I still believe that with all my heart. But, what I understand more clearly now is that the role of solitude in shifting consciousness may be more important than I once thought. Not because solitude alone changes us, but because it gives us the time and space to ‘see’ ourselves clearly.
In a world that constantly demands our attention, choosing to make time for honest introspection may be one of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves.
With love and encouragement,
D 🩵
"Silence and solitude are essential for nourishing the soul."
- Evelyn Underhill
"The best thinking has been done in solitude."
- Thomas Edison
"Solitude is for me a fountain of healing which makes my life worth living."
- Carl Jung*"Loneliness is the hunger of the ego" is often attributed to the famous Bengali poet, philosopher, and Nobel laureate, Rabindranath Tagore. "Solitude is the nourishment of the soul" is commonly credited to Albanian lyric poet, Lasgush Poradeci.
