The Choice is Yours
One of the hardest parts of writing a book is deciding what to cut out.
Because so much of the content for Lightworker was gifted to me through nightly downloads, I felt heavily guided to keep it all, but over time it became clear that some messages were meant for me while others were meant for the collective. Towards the end of the editing process, I woke up one morning and heard very clearly, "simplify," which meant I needed to take a firmer hand with my manuscript in order to clarify the collective message. Because the journal entry (below) was so personal, it had to go, but a recent discussion about free will spotlighted the power of choice, and I regretted leaving this piece on the cutting room floor.
We are not stuck on a path based on the choices we have made in the past. We have the power to choose a different path at any point in our lives.
Sunday, Oct 7, 2018 - 3:50 am
Every moment of every day we are given an opportunity to make a choice: react from fear or respond with Love.
Sometimes the choice is easy, like when someone cuts you off in traffic or you spill your morning coffee, you can choose to be upset or you can say to yourself, “it doesn’t matter.” Because the small stuff, as most of us know, truly doesn’t matter.
If your ego is in charge, these choices are so difficult and confusing! Fear takes over and runs the show so that even a small betrayal can send you flying into a rage. EVERYTHING is so hard, SO painful. “Why is this happening to me?!” One goes through life suffering with the belief that the whole world is out to get them.
When you know your Self, suddenly there’s clarity; you know what matters and what doesn’t. It’s easy to see that a bumped fender can be fixed, and spilled coffee can be cleaned up. It’s even easier to see that a failed relationship carries the gift of important life lessons, or that the death of a beloved father can be accepted because the Love is still there. When you know your Self and have faith that everything is unfolding exactly as it should, it is easier to live life happily. It’s easy to see what you were meant to do with your life, and who you want to spend your time with. It’s easy to see when other souls are struggling and easy to understand and empathize.
It gets harder when something is at stake. Even if you know your Self and you are following your conscience with Love in your heart, life can throw you a curve ball that challenges you to make the right choice. This is when clarity is lost and everything is muddied in shades of grey. Is it possible, I wondered, for a person to say “It doesn’t matter,” even if that person has suffered (or is suffering) extreme trauma? When diagnosed with a terminal illness or facing financial ruin, or when someone/something is threatening your family, freedom, or your basic human needs; when you believe with all your heart that an injustice has been done? Based on my own experience, I think the answer is, “yes, it is still possible.” However, this is where one needs to dig REALLY deep and remember that everything happens for a reason. Even in the face of utter darkness, if one can look for the lesson being offered, go back to the list of basic rules (p.196 Lightworker), and choose to hold Love in your heart, there should be an answer to any problem. If it matters to your Self, then there is always an answer.
The next time you experience emotional pain, instead of resisting and crying, “Why is this happening to me?!”, ask your Self the same question with curiosity, “Why is this happening to me? What am I supposed to be learning?” Take a deep breath to give yourself time to think. If the situation is not so dire, call a timeout. Get outside. Go for a walk. Breathe. When you feel ready, do your best to respond from your heart. Depending on the level of pain, responding in this manner can be extremely difficult, but the more times you defy your ego and respond from the energy of unconditional Love, the easier it will become.
Sadly, there are many people who see no need for change. Life seems to be going swimmingly for them. Why choose to change when they are overflowing with material abundance and power? Unfortunately, these powerful voices tend to rise up and take control - big egos try to prove they are right with little regard for what actually is right because, when the ego takes over, the Self is lost. They are repeatedly making unhealthy choices because they have no clarity. If most of the human population is still being run by ego, it is no wonder that much of our interaction is muddied in shades of grey and bogged down by conflict.
When you silence your ego, everything is so clear that there is no grey, there is no black and white, there is only light…and lots and lots of colour.
This thought reminded me of The Wizard of Oz, a ground-breaking movie that came out in 1939, when my dad was seven years old. Most of the movies at that time had been filmed in black and white, so when Dad saw Dorothy step out of her house to see OZ in Technicolour, the effect, he said, was extraordinary. Thinking of Dad, and remembering what I had learned in art class, I drew a greyscale in my journal. Beginning at the far left with a small dark square of black, I eased the pressure of my pencil, gradually fading through shades of grey until there was nothing but the white paper. I also remembered that without light we cannot see colour, so I added a note beside the blank space at the far right indicating that this is where the colour belongs.
Throughout this whole process, as I’ve straddled the realm between my old ego and my awakened Self, I’ve been worried. First, that I wouldn’t be able to communicate my story in a way that would do it justice; second, that no one would try to break away from their ego, and third, what if they do try, and experience a Volcano of Joy like I did? Applying the greyscale theory, I suspect that for most people the process would be easy, especially if they are reasonably happy already. Perhaps my extreme reaction was because I was at the opposite end of the scale and got ripped out of the black and thrown not just into the light but into blinding colour. It was a truly spectacular transformation, mind you, but it does take a little time to adjust, especially if there is no one around to support you.
So - side note to first responders out there – if anyone in ER admits someone presenting Volcano of Joy symptoms, such as boundless energy, insomnia, radiant joy, love, and gratitude while displaying a driving urge to help everyone, please treat them like a person, not a problem. Just give them a sedative and a quiet room with a purple orchid to keep them company. They’ll be fine in a couple of days.
Every moment of every day, you are provided with multiple opportunities to see your ego…to recognize an underlying instinct to blame and fall back on a victim mindset, to judge others and react from fear. Every time you recognize your ego and choose to turn your back on it, you take another step toward your soul - toward peace. The choice is yours. Will you resist the urge to react? Will you choose to respond from a place of Love?
I hope so. There’s way more colour over here.
D
